Tiki Room:Aloha E Komo Mai, Lilo & Stitch!
by J.E. Smith
Summary: A mock-up script I wrote for a Lilo & Stitch version of the Enchanted Tiki Room attraction at Walt Disney World.


**THE ENCHANTED TIKI ROOM: ALOHA E KOMO MAI, LILO & STITCH!**  
><strong><br>A Disney attraction fan script by J.E. Smith**

**AUTHOR'S NOTE: The following was written long before the January 2011 fire at the Tiki Room that destroyed Under New Management and before the August 2011 return of the original Tiki Room show, so please keep that in mind when you read this. **

**This is a revised version of something that I originally wrote back in 2008 after not being satisfied with the Stitch version of the Enchanted Tiki Room that had opened in Tokyo Disneyland. I thought that the idea of Stitch being in the Tiki Room had some potential, due to the Hawaiian aspects of the Lilo & Stitch series. Plus, had the show ever had come to Walt Disney World, it would have replaced the dreadful Under New Management version (50s doo-wop music and rap in the Tiki Room? No thanks!) and, if done right, would have brought back the Polynesian nature of the show.**

**However, there were several issues I had with the show, such as the show's original hosts (Jose, Michael, Pierre, and Fritz) being replaced with new ones, the lack of the classic "Tiki, Tiki, Tiki, Room" theme song, the show's short length, and its abrupt ending (The birds letting Stitch be in the show just to shut him up and so he won't interrupt them anymore, and then two seconds later they've switched gears and are like "Oh Stitch, we'd love to be in your ohana!"). So I wrote up a fanfic addressing all of these issues, such as bringing in Lilo and changing the story somewhat. Note that this fic will be presented in script format as that is usually the norm when writing a mock-up for a Disney attraction idea.**

**Enjoy, folks!**

* * *

><p>(Attraction sign: Same as Under New Mangement's, but with some changes. The Zazu and Iago figures perched on the sign are replaced with figures of Jose and the new female bird Lani. The "Under New Management" board is replaced with a sign that reads: "Aloha E Komo Mai". In blue paint, someone as added ",Lilo &amp; Stitch!" to the sign. There is a small can of the paint on the right of the sign below Lani. The top part of the sign has a wooden Stitch head peeking from behind.)<p>

(Pre-show area: There is a new, wooden gazebo to the far left of the waterfall wall where William and Morris used to reside. There are new TV monitors in the Tiki Room queue that shows animated versions of the Tiki God stories from the Disneyland version's queue for guests to watch as they wait. After the video is finished, the wall behind the waterfall opens, revealing Michael sitting on the Tiki perch)

MICHEAL: Aloha! Good day to you people! My name is Michael, and welcome to the Enchanted Tiki Room! In just a few minutes you'll be entering a world of joyous songs and island splendor performed by my avian brethren! Now I bet you're all wonderin', why am I out here instead of in there? Well, today we have a guest who just flew in from Hawaii to perform with us; a pink passionate parrot named Lani. She's been aching to sing in the Tiki Room since she was just a wee lass, so I decided to give her my perch for a while so she could join the show, and…

(The bushes to the left of Michael rustle, next to the gazebo)

MICHEAL: Oh, what was that? Sounds like someone's roaming around back there!

(We hear the sound of the person tripping over and a thud is heard inside of the gazebo next to the bushes. A little girl's voice grunts as she hits the ground.)

MICHEAL: Oh! Whoever's back there, are you okay?

(An Auto Animatronic Lilo is seen rising up into the gazebo. She is dressed in her hula outfit)

LILO: Oh…uh…uh-oh….

MICHEAL: Oh my, if it isn't a little hula girl! Excuse me little girl, but I believe you're not supposed to be back there!

LILO: Whoa, you're one of the Tiki Birds aren't you? So you really can talk!

MICHEAL: You'll find that in the Tiki Room anything's possible! Now, how did you get back there?

LILO: Oh I'm sorry! My dog got lost and I was chasing after him! Guess I took a wrong turn somehow...

MICHEAL: What's your name?

LILO: Lilo.

MICHEAL: Well Lilo, you know you're not supposed to have dogs in the park. Unless it's a seein' eye dog to help blind people that is.

LILO: Oh, well he's my...blind Uncle Jumba's seeing eye dog! Yeah, that's it! He got away from him, and I've searched all over and haven't been able to find him yet. I think there's a chance he may have gone into the Tiki Room! I need to go in and see if he's in there!

(Cast Member walks into the preshow area)

MICHEAL: I'm sorry Lilo, but we haven't seen any dogs around the Tiki Room today, inside or out! Now, I think that person over there is going to take you to Lost and Found so they can get you back to your family!

(Gong is heard)

MICHEAL: Oh dear, there's the gong! It's almost show time!

CAST MEMBER: That's right, Michael! Ladies and gentlemen, that gong you just heard means that they are calling you inside! In a moment, the AutoMagic Doors behind me will open, allowing you to enter the Tiki Room! Just remember, once inside please refrain from eating, drinking, smoking, and the use of flash photography and external video camera lighting! And Lilo, I'm sure everyone will keep an eye out for your dog!

(The first Cast Member walks to the far right of the platform and motions to Lilo to come over there)

MICHEAL: I'm afraid you need to go with that person over there now, Lilo. But cheer up, I'm sure someone will come across your dog soon enough!

LILO: Okay sir.

MICHEAL: And to the rest of you, I hope you all enjoy yourselves, and be sure to give Jose my regards! So long!

(The waterfall gate closes)

LILO: (To herself) I know you went in there, Stitch…please don't do anything that'll get you in trouble. I'll have to try running off again and sneak into the Tiki Room myself just to make sure you don't though. Just wait Stitch; I'll try to be there as soon as I can…

(The Lilo AA "walks" out off of the gazebo and into the bushes to the right and the guests are admitted into the Tiki Room)

(Inside, there are several differences in the Tiki Room; the fountain in the center now has a new, wider ring around it, making it have the appearance of a floral stage. Micheal of course, has been replaced with the new pink female Hawaiian parrot Lani. She pretty much looks like the female bird from Tokyo's Stitch Tiki Room. The positions of the birds have changed; Lani is where Fritz currently is, Pierre is where Micheal was, and Fritz is where Pierre currently is. Only Jose is in his usual spot. The Tiki Drummers on the left and right walls have been replaced by new Uh-oha masks, with their eyes closed.

The show begins as the Cast Member wakes Jose up by tapping his perch or has the audience shout to him. )

JOSE: (Yawns) My siestas are getting shorter and shorter… (To audience) Buenos Dias everybody, and welcome to the Enchanted Tiki Room! Hey Fritz mi amigo, pay attention it's show time!

FRITZ: Ach du liebe, you're right! Pierre, my bird bekannte, let's put on the show!

Pierre: Mon ami, I am always ready, as you say, to put on ze show! And I hope ze lovely Lani, is as well!

LANI: Aue, Pierre! You know I've been waiting all day for this! Oh dear, would you look at that? The audience is just staring at us! Let's get things rolling, boys!

PIERRE:Mon Cherie, I know how anxious you are seeing that this is your first day, but we mustn't rush things!

FRITZ: Ya Wohl! We must first wake up the Glee Club!

LANI: Oh, right!

(The four birds make a shrill whistle as all the birds in the Tiki Room started chirping wildly)

JOSE: Ole! Ole! It's show time!

ALL: In the Tiki, Tiki, Tiki, Tiki, Tiki Room  
>In the Tiki, Tiki, Tiki, Tiki, Tiki Room<br>JOSE: All the birds sing words  
>LANI: And the flowers croon<br>ALL: In the Tiki, Tiki, Tiki, Tiki, Tiki Room

JOSE: Welcome to our tropical hideaway  
>You lucky people you<br>If weren't in the show starting right away  
>We'd be in the audience, too<p>

ALL: All together!  
>In the Tiki, Tiki, Tiki, Tiki, Tiki Room<br>In the Tiki, Tiki, Tiki, Tiki, Tiki Room  
>JOSE: All the birds sing words<br>LANI: And the flowers croon  
>ALL: In the Tiki, Tiki, Tiki, Tiki, Tiki Room<p>

JOSE: The bird of paradise is an elegant bird  
>It likes to be seen and it loves to be heard<br>Most little birdies will fly away  
>But the Tiki Room birds are here everyday<p>

ALL: In the Tiki, Tiki, Tiki, Tiki, Tiki Room  
>In the Tiki, Tiki, Tiki, Tiki, Tiki Room<br>JOSE: All the birds sing words  
>LANI: And the flowers croon<br>ALL: In the Tiki, Tiki, Tiki, Tiki, Tiki Room

JOSE: Our magnificent production is yet to come  
>So strum the guitar and beat the drum<br>We've been a hit and we know you adore us  
>So come and join us for another chorus!<p>

ALL: In the Tiki, Tiki, Tiki, Tiki, Tiki, Room  
>In the Tiki, Tiki, Tiki, Tiki, Tiki, Room<br>LANI: A little softer…  
>ALL: All in the birds sing words<br>And the flowers croon  
>In the Tiki, Tiki, Tiki, Tiki, Tiki, Room<br>LANI: A little louder!  
>ALL: In the Tiki, Tiki, Tiki, Tiki, Room<br>In the Tiki, Tiki, Tiki, Tiki, Room  
>All the birds sing words and the flowers croon<br>In the Tiki, Tiki, Tiki, Tiki, Room!

JOSE: Ah Ha! Applause! Applause! Si, that was crazy.

(Gentle music starts)

FRITZ: Ja, Ja. Ja, Ja.

PIERRE: Écoutez! Écoutez! Listen! Listen!

LANI: Nani! Such lovely music!

Fritz: Ja, it is Offenbach!

PIERRE: Pardon Monsieur, but you stay offa my back and I'll stay offa your back!

JOSE: Mi amigos, stop the cluck-ing. Now, we present to you an opera piece sung in our native tongues! The bird whistling, that is.

(The Offenbach number begins in the middle, where the birds start squawking wildly. During the number, Stitch's head pops out from the pillar in the ceiling where the disco ball from UNM used to be. The pillar is wider to allow room for the AA's head. The four host birds are facing away from him so they don't notice him)

STITCH: Ooooh! Huh?

(Stitch listens to the music for a moment and shakes his head in disapproval)

STITCH: Bleh!

(Stitch goes back up the hole. The birds glance over to where he was to check out the noise, but he is gone. They continue to whistle Offenbach, but suddenly the lights go out and the music abruptly stops. The startled birds squawk in surprise. We hear Stitch faintly laugh in the background)

PIERRE: Scare bleu!

LANI: Aue!

FRITZ: Ach du liebe! Blackout!

JOSE: Calm down everybody, calm down! Hey, somebody get the lights back on!

(As the birds speak, we hear various sounds in the darkness. We hear Stitch chuckle, then the sound of him running around the Tiki Room, then the splattering of paint with Stitch humming to himself then the sounds of him running back up to his hiding place. He gets there right as the lights turn back on and so nobody sees him)

JOSE: Ah Gracias! We're so sorry for that senors and senoritas. It looks like we just blew a fuse!

FRITZ: Ach! Look at the windows!

(Each of the Tiki Room's four windows now has writing on them in blue paint. Two of the windows say "NO OPERA!" and the other two say "ALOHA E KOMO MAI!" The writing is rather sloppy.)

PIERRE: Mon dieu! Ze Tiki Room! She has been defaced!

LANI: Who would do such a thing?

FRITZ: Just look at what it says! No opera…looks like we have a critic down there!

PIERRE: Oui! There's no appreciation for classical music these days!

LANI: Well over here it says "Aloha e komo mai", which is Hawaiian for "Hello, welcome!"

PIERRE: "No opera. Hello, welcome?" That doesn't make any sense!

(The faint rumble of thunder is heard and lightning flashes in the windows)

FRITZ: Ach!

LANI: What was that?

JOSE: It is the Tiki Gods. They don't take kindly to people vandalizing the Tiki Room!

FRITZ: Ja, they are getting riled up!

JOSE: Si, and if they continue to get angry they'll go completely loco! Burning mad!

PIERRE: And if zat happens it'll be too dangerous for people to come in here!

(Thunder continues to rumble)

FRITZ: Ooh, und from the sound of all that thunder it looks that they're already mad enough as it is! I don't think we'll be able to continue the show until we get them calmed down!

LANI: Well, don't ruffle your feathers Fritz. I've got an idea on how to solve this!

FRITZ: Und what's that?

LANI: Well, "Aloha E Komo Mai" is also the name of a soothing song about hope and family. If I sing it, maybe it'll get the Tiki Gods calmed down! But I'm going to need a little help.

JOSE: Well, it's worth a try! Come on down, girls!

(The Birdmobile descends from the ceiling)

LADY BIRDS: I lai la  
>Ua i la<br>No mala hini ohana  
>Welcome cousins, come on by<br>Aloha e komo mai

JOSE: Take it, Lani!

LANI: Oh when you're down, you're feeling low  
>Got nobody by your side<br>It can be lonely and you want to only  
>Find a place, no need to hide<br>(With Lady Birds): Just lay back you'll fit right in  
>You can make it all come true<br>LANI: (Solo): 'Cause there's always hope inside  
>And hope will see you through<p>

LADY BIRDS :Aloha...  
>LANI: You'll find the place that you belong<br>LADY BIRDS: Ohana...  
>A family to call your own<br>ALL: Where you feel at home

(The Tiki Drummers play a short solo)

JOSE: Everybody!

ALL: I lai la  
>Ua i la<br>No mala hini ohana  
>Welcome cousins, come on by<br>Aloha e komo mai  
>Aloha e komo mai<p>

(The Tiki Gods give an approved sigh and it starts to rain outside the windows and the Birdmobile ascends into the ceiling)

PIERRE: Viola! It worked!

FRITZ: Ja, ja! That rain is the sign that the Tiki Gods are calming down!

JOSE: Gracias, Lani, Gracias!

LANI: He mea iki, Jose.

PIERRE: Well, let's continue now without further interruptions…I hope. And now ladies and gentleman, we present direct from the islands, a musical luau!

(The orchid beds descend from the ceiling and the birds of paradise in the corners of the room come to life)

ORCHIDS: Tahuwai la a tahuwai wai la.  
>(Birds of Paradise join in): Tahuwai la a tahuwai wai la.<br>Ehu hene la a pili koo lua la.  
>Pututui lu a ite toe la.<br>Hanu lipo ita paalai.  
>ORCHIDS: Au we<p>

(Stitch's arm pops out of the flower bed between Fritz and Lani, holding a bike horn, which he honks)

LANI: (Groans)

ORCHIDS: Ta huala.

(Stitch's arm pops out of the flower bed between Lani and Jose, sounding a twisted up old car horn that makes an "oowga!" sound)

PIERRE: Mon dieu!

ORCHIDS: Au we

(Stitch's arm pops out the flower bed between Jose and Pierre, sounding an air horn)

FRITZ: Ach du libe!

JOSE: Who? What? Where? How? When? (Squawks) Oh carumba!

LANI: Oh!

ORCHIDS: Ta huala

(Stitch's arm pops out of the flower bed between Pierre and Fritz sounding a duck call that's shaped like Donald's head. The orchids continue singing in the background during the below dialogue)

FRITZ: What's going on here!

PIERRE: It seems we have a saboteur sneaking around!

LANI: Do you think he's the one who painted the windows?

JOSE: Seems likely, mi amigos.

PIERRE: Well, we need to put a stop to him! Ze Tiki Gods will get angry again for sure at zis rate!

FRITZ: Ja, und we can't keep stopping the show so the girls can calm them down over and over. I say we surprise the little pest with some noise of our own!

PIERRE: Oui! Let's give that saboteur a taste of his own medicine!

LANI: Here comes the chorus. Get ready!

ORCHIDS: Au we...

(Stitch's arm pops out of the flowerbed behind Fritz)

FRITZ: Stop!

ORCHIDS: Ta huala...

(Stitch's arm pops of the flowerbed behind Pierre)

PIERRE: Alt!

(Stitch's arm pops of the flowerbed behind Jose)

ORCHIDS: Au we...

JOSE: (Wally Boag squawk)

ORCHIDS: Ta huala….

(The flowerbeds ascend back into the ceiling)

PIERRE: Ha, ha, now *that* should have scared that little pest away!

(Off-stage, Stitch sounds a loud foghorn that blares through the entire Tiki Room. The birds squawk in a big commotion.)

JOSE: Or perhaps not…

PIERRE: Sapristi! My feathers almost fell off!

LANI: You okay, Fritz?

FRITZ: Nein! I thought I was gonna lay an egg back there!

(Sound of thunder rolling outside)

LANI: Aue! The Tiki Gods are getting angry again!

JOSE: (Sigh) We're so sorry senors and senoritas, but it looks like we have no choice but to stop and calm them down again…

FRITZ: Ach! Jose! The Tiki Gods are going to perform next!

JOSE: Ay carumba, you're right! Lani quick, you better start singing before…

(The Tiki Drummers begin playing a short solo)

JOSE: Oh no! We're too late!

LANI: What's the problem?

PIERRE: Once the Tiki Gods start playing, we cannot interrupt! They can't stand it if they are disrupted while they perform their chant!

LANI: So if our little friend decides to cut in…

PIERRE: We are gone gooses.

LANI: Why do I have a bad feeling about this?

TIKI GODS: Tahuwai la a tahuwai wai la  
>Ehu hene la a pili koo lua la<br>Pututui lu a ite toe la  
>Hanu lipo ita paalai<p>

Oh ah hahey ah ah

(Without warning, Stitch's butt pops out from the hole where Iago comes from in UNM. It has a Tiki God face painted on it, and Stitch shakes it in time with the music)

(With Stitch):Oh ha hahey ah hah

JOSE: Wha…!

PIERRE: Behind you, Jose!

TIKI GODS: Oh ah hahey ah hah  
>(With Stitch): Oh ah hahey ah hah<p>

(Stitch goes back up the hole before Jose can swing around to see him. Thunder is heard and lightning flashes from the windows)

LANI: (Gasps)

PIERRE: It's ze saboteur!

JOSE: That does it! Next time he pops out I'm gonna give him a good pecking!

PIERRE: Get him, Jose!

(All four birds turn to face the hole)

TIKI GODS: Oh ah hahey ah hah

(Stitch's butt pops out of the hole where Zazu is stored in, behind the birds)

(With Stitch): Oh ah hahey ah hah

(Stitch quickly goes up back up out of sight just as the birds swing around in his direction. A very loud boom of thunder is heard and lightning flashes from the windows. The Tiki Room goes into the Hot Hot Hot lighting from UNE)

JOSE, PIERRE, and FRITZ: OH, NO!

LANI: Why is it getting hot all of a sudden?

FRITZ: Our stranger's rumpus shaking was the last straw for the Tiki Gods!

JOSE: Si! They've gone burning loco!

PIERRE: Oui! Oui! We are doomed!  
>(Singing): Doom is in the air<br>FRITZ: It's goodbye, my friend Pierre  
>ALL: It's so hot, hot, hot<br>PIERRE: Adieu mon ami, for the end is plain to see!  
>ALL: 'Cause it's hot hot hot!<p>

(Thunder rolls and the Tiki Room goes dark save for dim lighting on the host birds)

TIKI GODS: Hele mai Maika`i`ole Ahi!  
>Hele mai Maika`i`ole Ahi!<br>Hele mai Maika`i`ole Ahi!  
>Hele mai Maika`i`ole Ahi!<p>

LANI: Aue! Aue! They're chanting "Come, bad fire!" Jose, we need to tell the audience to get out of here, now!

STITCH (O.S., in a deep booming voice): NOBODY GOING ANYWHERE! NO FIRE!

(The Tiki Gods stop their chant. Stitch's head pops out of the center of the floral stage.)

JOSE: W-who said that?

FRITZ: Look! In the center of the room!

(Stitch rises up out of the floral stage. He is wearing a Hawaiian shirt and playing a ukulele. He is obscured by the dim lighting. Thunder rolls as Stitch begins to play)

STITCH (Deep voice): AUDIENCE  
>STAY IN CHAIR!<br>TIKI BIRDS  
>DON'T GO NO WHERE!<br>'CAUSE NOW IT'S TIME  
>THAT I SING TOO!<br>YOU'LL ALL ENJOY  
>TIKI-TIKI-DOO!<br>'CAUSE I THE TIKI GOD  
>THE BIG KAHUNA!<p>

JOSE, PIERRE, FRITZ, and LANI: The Big Kahuna?

LANI: That's not a true Tiki God! You're an imposter!

PIERRE: You're the saboteur aren't you? Reveal yourself!

STITCH: SINCE YOU ASKED…

(The lights return to normal and Stitch drops the deep voice)

STITCH: I really Stitch!

JOSE, PIERRE, FRITZ, and LANI: Stitch!

JOSE: Who are you, and why did you do all of this?

STITCH: Stitch from Hawaii, here on vacation! Heard about singing Hawaiian birds in Tiki Room, wanted to hear them sing about ohana! But when show started Stitch didn't want to hear boring opera, so I painted message to get birds to sing about ohana right away, and…

(A flash of lightning comes from the windows)

STITCH: Eh?

TIKI GODS: Uh-oha! Uh-oha! Uh-oha oha oha!

JOSE: Oh no! Not this again!

TIKI GODS: Uh-oha! Uh-oha! Uh-oha oha oha! Uh-oha!

(The two Uh-oha masks on the left and right walls open their eyes and come to life. They stare down at Stitch)

LANI: (Gasps) Who is...?

JOSE, Pierre, and Fritz: UH-OHA, THE TIKI GODDESS OF DISASTER!

UH-OHA: So, you are the one responsible for violating its walls and mocking the Tiki Gods! I will not allow such acts!

STITCH: Wait! Stitch not mean to cause harm. Stitch *like* Tiki Birds, just wanted to play with them and be part of Tiki Room! Didn't know that actual Tiki Gods would get mad!

UH-OHA: Well my little blue friend, perhaps you need to learn not to tamper with things you know nothing about! When you mess with Polynesia, the Tiki Gods will squeeze ya!

STITCH: Stitch don't think so! Outta here!

(Lights flash around Stitch and he gets frozen in place)

STITCH: Wha? Can't move!

UH-OHA: You can't run away now, you're stuck. I've cursed you for pushing your luck! So blue boy, you said you wanted to be a part of the Tiki Room? The punishment should fit the crime. So I'm going to turn you into a wooden Tiki statue. Then you'll literally be a part of the Tiki Room…for the next hundred years! (Laughs)

( Suddenly a commotion is heard from underneath the Tiki Room)

CAST MEMBER (o.s.): Hey little girl! You're not supposed to be down here! Come back here! Hey!

LILO(o.s.): Sorry, but my friend's in trouble! I need to help him! (Sounds of Lilo knocking over things and her panting are heard. She then appears in the outer ring of the floral stage, next to Stitch )

LILO: (Pant, pant) Hold on! Stop!

STITCH: Lilo? How'd you get here?

LILO: (Panting) I followed your footprints…you do not know how hard it was to sneak backstage to find you!

UH-OHA: What is the meaning of this?

LILO: I came here because I knew Stitch might get into trouble, and he'd need my help! I know what he did was wrong, but just because he crashed the show doesn't mean you can turn him into a statue! Please, don't do it!

UH-OHA: No! I cannot ignore his misdeeds! But perhaps I'll lower his sentence. Fifty years then!

LILO: No! I don't want to be separated from Stitch for any amount of time! If you're going to curse him, then you'll just have to curse me too!

STITCH: Lilo…no!

UH-OHA: You would allow yourself to be punished? You care for this blue creature that much?

LILO: Yeah, 'cause Stitch is part of my ohana!

UH-OHA: This thing…is in your ohana?

FRITZ: What's this ohana stuff mean anyway?

LANI: It means family.

LILO: That's right, and family means nobody gets left behind, or forgotten! So I'd never leave Stitch behind, even it means being turned into a statue for fifty years!

UH-OHA: Hmm…give me a moment to think about this!

(The Uh-oha masks close their eyes)

STITCH: Lilo...no! Leave now!

LILO: Not without you. Don't worry Stitch, we'll get out of this. You'll see...

LANI (whispering): Guys, that little girl seems to really care for Stitch! We gotta do something about this!

PIERRE (whispering): Oui, oui. This Stitch may have turned our show upside down, but we can't just let that girl sacrifice herself because of it!

LANI (whispering): Uh-oha's probably so angry she doesn't realize how harsh she's being. We need to calm her down with my song!

FRITZ (whispering): Ja, but how do we stop her long enough to sing it?

JOSE (whispering): Well, that's very simple mi amigos! All we need to do is...

(There is hushed muttering among the four host birds for a brief moment, then the Uh-oha masks open their eyes)

UH-OHA: I have made my decision! You shall join your friend as a Tiki statue!

LILO: (Gasp) Oh, no!

JOSE, FRITZ, PIERRE, and LANI: WAIT!

UH-OHA: You four dare to interrupt?

JOSE: Forgive us senorita, but if these two are going to be cursed, shouldn't they at least get to hear one last song first?

LANI: Yes, I was about to sing the rest of "Aloha E Komo Mai"!

FRITZ: Ja! Und we'd like to have Lilo and Stitch join us!

PIERRE: Oui! Oui! That little girl's last moment should at least be a happy one!

UH-OHA: Well, I do enjoy hearing that song of yours, Lani…I suppose I will allow it. But if you try to run away I will curse you instantly!

(A light flashes on Stitch and he can move again)

UH-OHA: Now play, blue one!

STITCH: Okay! Tooki ba waba!

(Stitch plays a short solo and Lilo begins to dance, circling around the outer ring of the stage as she does. During this time, the Uh-oha masks close their eyes)

LANI: Now you can see, tooki ba waba  
>Nothing but these clear blue skies<br>(With Fritz): Love it has found you, and when it surrounds you  
>It's just like paradise<br>PIERRE: Now the door has swung wide open  
>Now your heart has taken wing<br>JOSE: Feel that magic in the air  
>Oh hear your spirit sing<p>

TIKI BIRDS & LILO:: Aloha...  
>Stitch: Aloha!<br>JOSE: You'll find the place that you belong  
>TIKI BIRDS &amp; LILO:: Ohana...<br>STITCH: Ohana!  
>PIERRE: A family to call your own<br>TIKI BIRDS & LILO: Where you feel at home!

(The Uh-oha masks open their eyes)

UH-OHA: Ah, such a soothing song…you play so wonderfully blue one. And you child, are a good dancer for someone so young!

LILO: You really think so? Mahalo!

LANI: You still think these two really deserve to be cursed, Uh-oha?

UH-OHA: Well, now that I have calmed down, I now see that Stitch really did not mean to deliberately anger the Tiki Gods. I suppose I'll let this slide, provided that you come back and clean up the windows later. Deal?

STITCH: Deal! And Stitch sorry!

UH-OHA: Then you are free to go.

(The following cheers happen all at once)

LILO: Yes!

STITCH: All right!

LANI: Kupaianaha!

PIERRE: Fantisique!

FRITZ: Wundaba! Wundaba!

JOSE: Ariba! Ah ha ha!

UH-OHA: Just be more careful next time, blue one. I'll take my leave now. Aloha, everyone!

(The Uh-oha masks close their eyes)

FRITZ: Hoo-hoo, now THAT was a close one!

LANI: That was kind of gutsy for you to stand up to Uh-oha like that, Lilo!

LILO: Well, I'd do anything it takes to help protect my ohana, even though he causes trouble sometimes. I don't where I'd be if I had never met him!

STITCH: Oh, Lilo…

PIERRE: Pardon moi for breaking up the sentiments, but we need to be, how you say, wrapping things up!

JOSE: Si! Would you like to lead us off, Senor Stitch?

STITCH: Okay, Jose! (Spoken in a "No way, Jose" fashion)

(The Tiki Room goes into the rave lighting that is used during the Tiki Rap segment in UNM and the flowerbeds descend from the ceiling)

STITCH: Iki tooki nee ha!  
>ORCHIDS: Iki tooki nee ha!<br>STITCH: Aka tiki baba!  
>TIKI GODS and BIRDS OF PARADISE: Aka tiki baba!<br>SITCH: Gaba ika tasooba?  
>ORCHIDS: Gaba ika tasooba!<br>ALL: Oocha! Chika! Miki miki coconut!

(The Tiki Room goes into the lighting that is used during the Conga finale of UNM)

ALL(Except Stitch): I lai la  
>Ua i la<br>No mala hini ohana  
>Welcome cousins, come on by<br>Aloha e komo mai  
>STITCH: Miki miki coconut!<br>All (Stitch joins in): I lai la  
>Ua i la<br>No mala hini ohana  
>(STITCH: Tasooba, tasooba!)<br>AlLL(Minus Stitch): Welcome cousins; come on by  
>Aloha e komo mai<br>STITCH: Icki bobo!  
>ALL: Aloha e komo mai<br>STITCH: Tooki ba waba!  
>ALL; Aloha e komo mai<br>Aloha, aloha  
>ALL (Except for Tiki Gods): E komo maaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaai!<br>TIKI GODS (In background during high note): I lai la,  
>Ua I la<br>ALL: No mala hini OHAN-A!

(Small jets of smoke shoot up out of the corners of the floral stage around Lilo & Stitch as they hit the last note. The Tiki Room goes dark except for dim lighting on Lilo, Stitch, and the host birds. Thunder and lighting effects are used. It rains very hard outside the windows)

TIKI GODS: Uhhhh…malaho!

LILO: Whoa, look at it pour out there!

JOSE: I think someone has left the shower running!

FRITZ: Oh wundaba! That heavy rain means that the Tiki Gods are really pleased!

LANI: Lilo! Stitch! The extra energy you added to the song must have really impressed them! Good job, you two!

LILO: Well, it was the least we could since Stitch caused the problem in the first place.

PIERRE: I hope he's learned something from all of this!

STITCH: Oh yeah, Stitch never gonna pull something like *this* ever again!

PIERRE: Thank goodness!

JOSE: I'm just glad no one got hurt, unlike the last time Uh-oha showed up!

PIERRE: Oui, but zat loud-mouthed parrot sure got what he deserved!

LANI: Loud-mouthed parrot? Last time?

FRITZ: Forgive us Lani, but that's an incident we'd rather not talk about…

JOSE: I'm sorry that your first show didn't go as planned, Lani.

LANI: Well that may be Jose, but this was a rather interesting experience to say the least.

PIERRE: Oui! It just goes to show that you don't know what amazing or unusual things you'll see here in ze…

(The Tiki Room goes back into the Conga lighting)

ALL: Tiki, Tiki, Tiki, Tiki, Tiki Room  
>The Tiki, Tiki, Tiki, Tiki, Tiki Room<br>All the birds sing words and the flowers croon  
>In the magical, wonderful, tropical<br>Enchanted Tiki Rooooooooooooooom!

STITCH: Heh! Heh! Heh! Bye-bye from everybody in the Tiki Room!

(The Tiki Room goes back to its normal lighting)

JOSE: Ole! Ole! Applause! Let's give everybody a standing ovation! The birds! Lilo! Stitch! Everyone! Applause! Up on your feet! Give them all a great big hand! Ole!

LANI: And now, as long as you're all standing…

JOSE: We have a wonderful magic trick for you.

LILO: Oh, a magic trick?

FRITZ: Ja! Everybody, face the door, und the trick is…we're gonna make you all…DISAPPEAR!

LILO: Tsk! Oh!

STITCH: That old gag!

FRITZ: Hoo-hoo-hoo, I never get tired of doing that!

(The exit doors open and an instrumental of "Aloha e Komo Mai" plays)

CAST MEMBER: Ladies and gentlemen, please at this time gather your belogings and "disappear" out to the rear of the Tiki Room. Enjoy the rest of your day at the Magic Kingdom!

LILO: Goodbye, everybody!

STITCH: Sayonora!

JOSE: Adios!

PIERRE: Au revoir!

LANI: Aloha Oe!

FRITZ: Oy weh!

LILO: Well Stitch, I think we'd better be "disappearing" back to the hotel. Nani's probably worried sick about us.

STITCH: Wait! Stitch going off to Tomorrowland first! Gonna show 'em *real* alien encounter! (Laughs)

(Stitch exits)

LILO: What…! Stitch, wait! I thought you learned your lesson!

(Stitch's head sticks up)

STITCH: Stitch just kidding! Race Lilo to monorail! But Stitch gets head start!

(He exits again)

LILO: Hey, no fair! (Laughs) Come back here! Aloha, Tiki Birds!

JOSE, PIERRE, FRITZ, and LANI: Aloha, Lilo!

(Lilo exits)

LANI: (Laughs) Oh, that Stitch is such a rascal! But, he and Lilo really do seem to have a strong bond with each other.

PIERRE: Oui! Stitch may be a pest, but at least he's a pest that has a good friend to steer him right!

LANI: All right guys, I'm curious. Exactly what's the deal about Uh-oha and this "loud-mouthed parrot" you mentioned earlier?

PIERRE: Well if you must know, that lowlife somehow ended up becoming the new owner of the Tiki Room and wanted to us to make some ridiculous changes to the show!

FRITZ: Ja, und then Uh-oha got fed up with him and roasted him like the turkey he is! He survived, unfortunately.

LANI: Seriously?

JOSE: Si. But eventually he lost the ownership after they found out he was secretly selling some of our birds off to Animal Kingdom behind our wings.

LANI: Aue…

JOSE: (Yawn) Anyways, I don't know about you mi amigos, but I'm tired after all this excitement. I think I'll take a quick siesta before the next crowd comes in…

FRITZ: Ja, good idea. Oh look, there's someone still down there!

JOSE: Congratulations! You stayed for our entire exit spiel!

JOSE, Pierre, Fritz, and Lani: You can go now!

(Just outside the Tiki Room's exit are two new, double-sided signs to the left and right as guests exit. On one side reads "Enchanted Tiki Room-Exit Only". The other side, the one the guest sees while leaving the Tiki Room, features a painting of Jose, Fritz, Pierre, and Lani. We see that Stitch has made an addition to this sign with a crude drawing of his and Lilo's faces in blue paint. The sign reads "Farewell and Aloha to You.")


End file.
